Note to Parents

I've obviously stirred some tensions among a small but vocal group of parents who visit this site and I guess it would do the issue good if I were to address said parties at length. Much of the criticism leveled against me has been off the basis of one comment in I leveled charges of reductionism and ignorance against a parents' grasp of the relation between CAP and college admissions. I cannot apologize for what I said because in all reality, to compact the complexities of college admissions (especially, American college admissions) into a black and white world in which having a higher CAP necessarily translates to better admissions outcome is to possess an ignorant mindset.

I believe that most of you parents are far more concerned with how I expressed my sentiments and while I admit that I could've been more tactful, I do not think the fact that you're a parent or the fact that you're X number of years older (or 'more experienced', if you'd like to go down that road of fallacies) than me justifies a retraction of my words. If your age imbues you with such wisdom, it's a little puzzling as to why you have to frequent a site maintained by a bunch of (mostly) 18- and 19-year olds and ask questions, when our answers will be pregnant with youthful inexperience. To me, your presence on this site is an implicit acknowledgment that in some matters related to college admissions and/or life at NUS High, your parental wisdom can be gainfully supplemented by our first-hand experiences here.

In fact, I put it to you that some of you are angry only because you think that your consecrated roles as parents entitles you to a certain sort of response (insert your interpretation of courtesy, tastefulness, etc. here). If this is part of your belief system and an idea that you want to pass on to your kids, that's fair enough, but do not expect me to conform to your notions of hierarchy, especially when you're here on this site benefiting from what my peers and I take the time to write.

I've also noticed one or two comments about how I might be setting a bad example or how I might serve as an embarrassment to NUSHS students or how you're glad that your kids don't know me. The irony doesn't escape me, but you're entitled to feel or say that as long as you genuinely believe that I was wrong/arrogant/proud to call someone ignorant (let's forget for a moment that the someone was a parent; I've already addressed that above) for adopting a reductionist outlook on the CAP that has had real and long-lasting consequences for my life in and after NUS High. It's ultimately up to you if you'd like to see it as an insult but at the very least, for your child's sake, listen to some of my peers who've been devoting a lot of time towards dispelling your misconceptions and do that with some humility, instead of kicking up a ruckus on the tagboards.

The last criticism I'd like to address is with regards to a parent who thinks I'm an 'arrogant brat whose articles don't deserve to be read'. Dear Parent (Y1 n 2) you are entitled to make that judgment but I will only reply that I think it's your own loss. I do not claim to be a very humble person - in fact, I will readily profess I think I do know more about college admissions matters than many students and many of their parents - but at the same time, I do not claim to be all-knowing. I reflect on own ignorances, my own deficiencies, and about all the things I'd like to but can't do as well as other people. I'm telling you this so that you will understand that I'm not trying to preach from some moral or intellectual highpoint. If you have come to see me as an arrogant person not deserving of your attention, I'm sorry you feel that way.

I wouldn't want to get into a prolonged discussion about my thoughts on the CAP, but I'd just like to point out that if you believe that your kids should choose a path of least resistance towards a strong CAP so that they can get into good universities (flawed logic, but let's assume this for the sake of argument), there is (1) a principled contradiction between wanting your kid to get a high quality education at a strong university while depriving him/her of a similarly strong education in high school so that he/she can make it to that university (2) a practical issue with arriving at a top university without having braved the sort of rigor some of your classmates there will have. Remember this before asserting that you always know what's good for your kids.